One of the many family vacations I remember was when we went to New York to visit family.  I have a distinct memory of this trip, probably because of a few events that made an impression on me as a child.

First, we drove what seemed like forever to get there.  Remember, my Dad was a marathon vacation driver.  It is of utmost importance to find the quickest, most efficient route to your target, and drive for as long as it is humanly possible before stopping to rest. 

Not sure what time we arrived in New York (maybe 2 or 3am), but I do remember my Mom really wanted to wait until a decent hour when people would actually be awake to knock on our aunt and uncle's door.  Probably because we had only a certain amount of money we could spend on a vacation, we did not stop and sleep in a hotel.  Since we only had a couple of hours until we could show...

While Dad was in rehab, I had the bright idea to try to find someone in the Marine Corps to visit him.  I knew that would encourage him greatly.  The only problem was I didn't know any Marines. 

So, I began sending out emails to every local Marine Corps local organization asking to see if any Marine would consider visiting and encouraging a fellow Marine. I never received any email responses back.

Later in the day, about 3:30, I decided to go to the Marine recruiting station in Goodlettsville to ask if they had any USMC hats or shirts that I could buy to take to Dad in rehab. As I drove up, I noticed a young Marine in full dress blues walking to his car. I thought- I bet he had just closed the office and was leaving for the day. But then, I noticed an OPEN sign was still on, so I parked and went in. A burly Marine covered in tattoos, with a shaved and shiny head walked up to me and asked me what I needed. I said that my Dad is a Marine Corp vet of WWII and in rehab and I just wanted to buy a hat or shirt to take to him. He asked my what Dad's name was. I thought that was strange. I told him Raymond Pursell.

...

I cannot fathom what I would be like to wake up next to a person for 62 years, and then one day they were gone.  When you think about it, my Mom and Dad were married when they were both in their 20's.  They grew up together, through the good, the bad and the ugly.  Through disagreements (and they were such different people, they certainly had those), diapers, teenagers and hospital visits.  They were in it for the long haul.

In reflecting on the relationship of my Mom and Dad, it makes me understand that love- real love- has very little to do with a warm fluttery feeling and twinkles in your eyes.  Although, both of those things might well be present.  One of my favorite memories growing up was when my Dad would come into the kitchen and sweep my Mom up in his arms and turn around and around with her as she squealed "Raymond, put...

Because my sister and I are so close in age, growing up we were in a continuous struggle.  We just could not help ourselves.  It was imperative that we aggravate each other.  I can't tell you why now, we just did.

Where it was the most evident was when we were cooped up in the car on a trip or vacation.  And we traveled alot.  For the bulk of my childhood, my Dad owned Monzas.  For those of you that are not old enough to know what they were, they were spiffy smaller cars that were both zippy in their ability to accelerate, and practical in that they were very economical to use.  They had this really cool feature.  The engine was in the trunk.  That made them able to go forward, even in snow.

Whenever our entire family was in the car together, my sister and I would get bored, and after pestering my Dad asking 'if we were there yet" a zillion times,...

One month ago today.  Someone told me after my Dad died that I would begin to use the day he died as a marker as time passed.  I didn't realize exactly what they were talking about then.  I do now.

Another person gave me this wisdom around the same time.  They said that although I had already been through a difficult time, that as time passed it would continue to be difficult in a different way.  Even though I couldn't have known how what he was describing would feel like personally, I recognized the words were truth as soon as I read them.  I just didn't know how it would be different, and how it could be in an entirely different way.  I do now.

I tried for months before Dad passed away to think of everything that was important to do for him and say to him so that I could do those things, and say the words beforehand not leaving anything important undone...

Vacations were a big deal growing up in our family. They had to be planned and orchestrated based on where we had never visited. My Dad had this inner compulsion to show his family each state in the United States. We actually never visited each one, but it was not for the lack of his trying.

Every vacation was an adventure, and an opportunity for him to teach us whatever he knew about the place we were visiting.

What was the food of choice for both my sister? It was always the same: hamburgers and chocolate milkshakes. We never tired of that meal. Ever. So, that meant that wherever we traveled, one of our priorities was looking for a great burger place. Mind you, that was before all the fast food hamburger chain restaurants. It was even before drive up from a fast food. It was back in the day of slow food cooked and served the old fashioned...

If my Dad had been blessed with many daughters, one thing is clear to me. There would have to be a tomboy in the mix somewhere. That is just the way it is. He would have loved to have had a son, but he ended up with two girls. When something like that happens- like all good Marines- you improvise, adapt and overcome. There are sacrifices that have to be made. At least, until those fathers get son-in-laws that feel like real sons and the family gender mix comes into a bit more balance.

So...what is a father of girls to do? If you are like my Dad, you can teach your girls to sing Marine Corps fight songs shortly after they learn to talk. That helps. It keeps the morale up while you are trying to figure out how you can orchestrate equal time in the bathroom in a house full of females.

You can also train the youngest in...

Dear Ones… Let me begin by apologizing for taking so long to write to you all. I have just now felt like I could write and do this justice. I think I was unprepared for the magnitude of the loss that I have felt, so different from anything else I have ever experienced. It is my hope that the delay in sending this will in no way be interpreted as me being ungrateful for the kindness that each of you have shown to me, my Dad, Mom, Beverly and the rest of our family. Even as I write this I am sensing the impossibility of expressing the love and gratitude that I have in my heart toward each of you.

I am so grateful for your prayers during this saga. Dad had a long battle, but one with more than a few victories, and answered prayers. We celebrated each one, and have never ceased to remember that each of you had a part to play each time. I have...